Parenting Children Well Across Two Homes: What It Takes

Thriving Minds Podcast with Professor Selena Bartlett

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Recently, I had the pleasure of being a guest on the Thriving Minds Podcast, hosted by Neuroscientist and Brain Health Advocate, Professor Selena Bartlett. Winner of the 2024 Women Changing the World Big Idea Award, Prof Bartlett has authored over 80 scientific papers and is an in-demand speaker on how adverse childhood experiences shape the brain and what can be done about it.


Our conversation highlights the importance of early intervention, maintaining healthy post-separation relationships, and the support systems available for families.


In this episode, you’ll hear us discuss:

Finding a New Normal

In this interview, I emphasised the revolutionary importance of the co-parenting model we advocate at Co-Parenting Companion. Our goal is to simplify the process of raising children effectively within one family across two homes. The cheapest and most effective time to access support for this transition is at the point of separation, providing families with the support and strategies needed to navigate this new phase of their lives.

The Challenge of Traditional Legal Processes

One of my main critiques of the traditional court system is its ineffectiveness in resolving co-parenting issues constructively. Families have previously come to me after enduring years of conflict, filled with hurt and anger, having spent thousands of dollars fighting each other in court. Instead of this adversarial approach, I advocate for early interventions and collaborative methods that focus on the best interests of the children.

The Importance of Keeping Children at the Centre

A key point emphasised by Prof Bartlett from her expertise in neurodevelopment was the necessity of keeping children at the centre of all conversations surrounding separation. She raised the risks of children becoming pawns in revenge strategies and how that can be extremely damaging. We discussed how crucial it is to maintain a clear boundary between adult conflicts and the wellbeing of children.

Early Intervention

I strongly recommend involving collaboratively trained professionals early in the separation process—lawyers, financial advisors, and experts in child development and human behaviour. These experts provide vital support to both parents and children ensuring a smoother transition and more positive outcomes.

Communication and Conflict Resolution

We also explored the critical aspect of communication and conflict resolution skills in co-parenting. Engaging with a neutral coach or counsellor can help parents develop their new toolkit for successful co-parent communication and conflict management.

How to Tell the Children

When it comes to breaking the news of separation to children, I suggest:

  • Choosing a quiet weekend during term time so children can process the information in a familiar routine.
  • Keeping the initial conversation simple and direct: "Our romantic relationship has ended, but we love you tremendously and will be better parents to you across two homes."
  • Ensuring both parents are present to reinforce a sense of security and continuity.

Apologies and Accountability

One of the most poignant parts of our discussion revolved around the importance of parents owning their mistakes. Children are highly perceptive and can sense when things are amiss. Honest accountability and sincere apologies can rebuild trust and model resilience and integrity for children.

Celebrating the Wins

We closed the podcast on a hopeful note, highlighting the possibilities and positive outcomes of collaborative co-parenting. This is my favourite part, sharing some of the success stories of the people within our co-parenting community! I firmly believe that making a healthy transition to a two-home family can be a Good News Story for all members of the family. I’ve witnessed this happen, repeatedly.

Final Thoughts

It was a deep honour to have this conversation with Professor Bartlett on her Thriving Minds Podcast. I hope you enjoy the episode - let me know what resonates most with you.


If you're ready to take charge of your co-parenting dynamic and start living life on your terms, you can dip your toes in with our next free webinar, How to Co-Parent With Ease, or our free course, Six Steps to Co-Parenting Success. Or jump in with both feet and join us for the next intake of our life-changing Co-Parenting Intensive Reset. After all, you were never meant to do this alone.

A head and shoulders profile picture of head coach Tiffany Rochester

Tiffany Rochester

Co-Parenting Coach

Tiffany is a pioneering force in transforming family life after separation, taking the stress and turmoil out of co-parenting with an ex. Equipped with advanced degrees in Psychology and twenty years of dedicated service, she passionately supports separated parents to bring ease and simplicity into raising children in one family across two homes.

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