Two Homes, One Family - Making It Work (Part 2)
Telling the Kids and the First Eight Weeks
Telling the kids you’re separating can feel like one of the hardest conversations you’ll ever have. In Part 2 of my chat with Emma Waddington and Chris McCurry on Life’s Dirty Little Secrets, we focused on giving you a clear plan for telling the kids and getting through those first eight weeks after separation. This plan will help set you up for success as a family living in two homes.
"You can choose to leave an intimate relationship, but co-parenting is forever."
Separating well extends far beyond just getting Parenting and Financial Agreements in place. For as long as you live, you’ll want to share in each of your children’s milestones, celebrations, and difficult moments, even after they’re adults. Learning how to resolve conflict as co-parents in the early stages is the fastest pathway to long-term stability and peace.
What does it take to separate well?
During our discussion, we covered the essential elements of separating well:
- Conflict resolution skills – When the romantic relationship is over, you need a new way to resolve conflicts and make decisions together.
- Clarity and structure – Setting up clear steps and "operating procedures" for how you communicate and make decisions can reduce stress and emotional exhaustion.
- Start with the first eight weeks – The early stages of separation are crucial. We talked about how to plan for telling your kids and what the first few weeks will look like.
I used to work with families who only came to me after being sent by the family court. By the time they sought help, they had already spent enormous amounts of money on legal fees, and their lives had been consumed by stress. That’s not good enough for the kids, and it’s not good enough for their parents. The entire system, quite frankly, needs to change. Litigating through lawyers is the wrong solution for separating parents. Early intervention with a Co-Parenting Coach and collaboratively trained professionals can help avoid much of the emotional and financial pain that comes with messy legal battles.
Practical steps for the first eight weeks
Here are some key steps I shared during the episode that will help you create a strong foundation in the early stages of separation:
- Prepare to tell the children – It's best if both agree on when and how to have this important conversation.
- Talk to a collaboratively trained lawyer – Legal advice can help you make good decisions without creating more conflict.
- Meet with a Financial Neutral – Clear financial guidance helps you make decisions and reduce stress, setting both households up for success.
- Work with a Co-Parenting Coach – A coach can guide you through the emotional and practical challenges of co-parenting, helping you create a plan that works for both parents and children.
You don’t have to do this alone!
One thing I hope you take from this episode is that you don’t have to figure this out by yourself. Getting neutral professionals involved early can help you avoid unnecessary conflict and stress.
If you want to learn more about separating well and building a healthy co-parenting relationship, listen to this episode. We cover real-life stories and practical tips to help you navigate even the toughest situations.
I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences after you’ve had a listen!
If you're ready to take charge of your co-parenting dynamic and start living life on your terms, you can dip your toes in with our next free webinar, How to Co-Parent With Ease, or our free course, Six Steps to Co-Parenting Success. Or jump in with both feet and join us for the next intake of our life-changing Co-Parenting Intensive Reset. After all, you were never meant to do this alone.
Tiffany Rochester
Co-Parenting Coach
Tiffany is a pioneering force in transforming family life after separation, taking the stress and turmoil out of co-parenting with an ex. Equipped with advanced degrees in Psychology and twenty years of dedicated service, she passionately supports separated parents to bring ease and simplicity into raising children in one family across two homes.
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